Lupin's Thoughts
by Pyra250
Summary: Contains spoilers for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows


**Credit: **I don't own any of the characters in this fanfiction. They are property of JK Rowling.

**Author's Note:** One-shot, as always. I felt JK Rowling breezed over this a little too quickly and Remus was never really given the proper thought he deserved. Thus, I am now giving him it. Reviews are appreciated.

**Contains spoilers for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows**

It was all so overwhelming. There were so many people, so many bodies corraled together. Had he been claustrophobic he never would've survived. All aroun dhim clased the din of battle: a thousand voices demanding certain spells from their wands, a hundred colors flashing before a hundred unseeing eyes.

Lupin's blue eyes flashed across the mass, his grip on his wand tightening instinctively. His heart was racing. Already it seemed lightyears away. So thi sis what it had come down to, the final stand for Hogwarts.

"Remus?"

Lupin started, nearly dropping his wand, fumbling clumsily to regain control.

"Kingsley," he croaked out in embarassment. It was comforting, in a way, to have a familiar face beside him. Comforting, and yet disturbing as a reminder of all he stood to lose.

He blinked away the images of his wife and newborn son, turning his attention behind him. Twenty or so pairs of eyes watched him expectantly, a ghost of hope flickering in and out of their pupils. It was a fool's hope, he knew, and yet he had no choice but to support it. As their leader it was the least he could do.

Remus inhaled sharply, summoning the last bit of courage he had in his body. All those years of tagging along after Sirius and James must've taught him something. _PLease let me have my friends' strength,_ he silently prayed, tightening his clutch on his wand as if it held all the answers.

"Protect yourselfs and shoot to maim," Remus called over his shoulder as he turned back to the battle. The voice that tumbled from his lips was like, and yet unlike, his own. It was strong and unwaivering, betraying no hint of the shakiness he held inside. His courage quivered, and yet he held it back from the world.

Before common sense would have a chance to change his mind, Remus stepped forward, out of the safety of the castle and into the Hell that lay beyond. His countenance paled considerably, a stark contrast against his sweat-stained locks, but who would notice? The prickling sensation along his spine had long since died down; their eyes and minds were elsewhere now.

It was silent as Remus descended the steps, each foot seeking out the next cement rectangle with robotic jerkiness. White knuckles clutched his forgotten wand, held rady and yet unprepared for use.

Black, carefully shined shoes--the only well-kempt item on his frame--touched grass, and sound suddenly erupted into the previous stillness. The air was engorged with the sound of screams, though Remus couldn't tell whether they were pained or spells. Either way, it wouldn't have mattered much.

Something in Remus's mind snapped as he stood there dazzed and confused. His wand raised, seemingly of its own accord, and those two dangerous words rose in his throat.

"Avada Kedavra!" he let the words tumble out precariously, watching blankly as the green light hit its target and a death eater fell.

Remus snapped back to reality. He was here, in the middle of a battle, and he had to fight. He had to fight because that was the only way he'd make it home to see his son.

Something stirred in the wizard like a pot boiling over. There was a fire in his eyes none had seen before, a precision in his step and a presence of his voice that inspired confidence in those around him. He had a reason to fight, a reason to _be_.

Teddy. The name was always forefront on his mind, and the thought made him stronger with each second.

But then he caught something in his peripheral vision, a movement so slight that it almost went unnoticed. There was a boy out in the field fighting; a boy no older than 14. He was familiar. What was his name again? Casey, or Corey. Creevey, that was it.

He was so young, so innocent. All he wanted to do was help, Remus was sure, but he didn't belong here. What if it was his son here, fighting for his life? He'd never wish the thought on any parent, and being such he felt it his job to keep this boy safe.

Remus moved towards Creevey with every intention of shielding him from the grotesque world in which he lived. But there was movement--movement all over. He was torn several different ways, but he couldn't see them all. He was all he needed to, though.

The Death Eater raised his wand; there was no doubt who his target was. Desperation guided Remus's movements, adrenaline giving him a boost of speed. He had a wand, he was well aware, but there was no time, it was too late for that.

There was a green flash as he collided with Creevey and the boy fell away unscathed. The boy was safe. Not _his_ boy, but _someone's_ boy. His son was safe at home; would he ever know what his father sacrificed?

_Teddy,_ Remus thought sadly as the green light swallowed him. It was the name that had given him the strength to fight, and now it would be the one to give him the courage to die.


End file.
